There are notable differences by race and ethnicity, as well. Among biological fathers ages 20 to 24, more than three-fourths (76%) have had a child out of wedlock, while this share drops to 36% for fathers ages 35 to 44.
In contrast, 69% report that they have had at least one of their children within a marriage.Īmong young and middle-aged men, the likelihood of having a child out of wedlock varies by cohort. She opines: “This is to ensure that a child does not grow up blaming themselves.Nearly half (46%) of men ages 15 to 44 with biological children report that at least one of their children was born outside of marriage, 5 and 31% report that all of their children were born outside of marriage.
The expert advises single parents to be honest with their children about the reason the other parent could not be a part of them. Lack of identity is associated with hopelessness, which may eventually result to suicidal ideations or even attempts,” she explains. “We have heard of women with ‘daddy issue.’ An individual who was initially abandoned can struggle to build and maintain relationships in future and may live a frustrated life. Some psychological repercussions of growing up without a father include depression, drug addiction, low self-esteem, lack of identity that leads to role confusion, eating disorders among others. “An individual who grows without getting these from their fathers either due to absenteeism, separation or divorce is more likely to be psychologically affected,” says Omolo. He plays many roles such as influencing a child’s values, conferring a healthy identity and providing security, especially emotional security. We are in the process of registering a foundation,” says Mercy.Ĭlaire Omolo, a psychologist and mental health consultant at the Nairobi Parenting Clinic says that the role of a father within a family is an important one. We also want to help parents embrace co-parenting for the children’s sake. We want to create awareness, inspire, educate and create platforms where those that wish to get help reconnect with their children or fathers can do so without fear. My team and I wish to help others going through the pain of fatherlessness. “I want to advocate for reconciliation of fathers and their children. Her greatest passion now is to impact many families. I have also been speaking in different platforms such as churches and my social media platforms,” she says. “I began my journey by writing a book about my personal experiences, which is at its final stage of publishing. My pastor too has been a great support and a pillar,” says the mother of two.Īccording to her, her story is just one out of the many children who grow up without fathers and she has decided to dedicate her life to see to it that the society is aware of the many issues fatherless children go through. “They love me unconditionally and have played a big part in helping me move on and heal to some extent. Her husband, children and her in-laws have become her greatest support system. I remember when she died, I told my husband that I had officially become an orphan.” Her death closed a big chapter in my life. We had a cordial relationship and she sacrificed her happiness for us. She offers: “She played both the roles of a father and a mother. According to Mercy, her mother was a special person to her and her death was a big blow. Her mother passed on in February this year. Maybe one day I will get answers to these questions, but only from him if I ever meet him because my mum is no more.” Though she is now an adult, Mercy still asks, “Why did my father never look for me? Why did he not care? Was it his fault or mum’s?” “During the time I was living with my relatives, whenever I was asked to do certain chores, I always interpreted it as hatred,” she adds. I kept a lot to myself and did not let anyone into my space fearing more rejection,” she says.įrom time to time, she suffered from hopelessness and did not believe that she was in a position to achieve anything. I was also jealous of other children who were from hinged families. I would get affected by any bad or negative comment from my peers. Over the years, I have suffered low self-esteem and always felt I was not good enough. “In retrospect, I think if my father was around, I wouldn’t have been vulnerable. Mercy also found herself looking for validations from the wrong people. I wondered why he never cared to know if I was dead or alive.” I blamed him for all the problems we were facing. I felt rejected and I struggled with feelings of anger towards my father.
I saw my mum’s health go from bad to worse because she was always under pressure.
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